Score: 8

"Like an arthouse version of Pong"

submission: p2K8

date: May 12, 2008

What with the music and the angle and all, I sort of imagined the guy I'm playing has a beret and tinted glasses, and that he's snapping his fingers with the hand not holding the paddle.

Not bad, daddio.

Score: 9

"Take a Bow, Dammit."

submission: Moonbow Snake

date: May 9, 2008

I can see why you don't think this is very good, but I disagree. You may remember me as one of the people who took a crack at the test version of Fizzle, a game you were likewise displeased with.

The best guess I have for your dislike of your own work is that it lacks the X-Treem edge that people tend to expect from Newgrounds. But it is precisely BECAUSE you don't have the flashing lights and screaming horns of normal video games that I like the things you make.

Moonbow Snake is elegant. You've taken the basic idea of Snake and added your part, with a picture, celestial elevator music, and an interesting color pattern for the snake. Every other version of Snake I've seen here is either hopelessly bastardized or contemptibly underdone. You've struck a balance, whether by design or chance I can't say. Snake was never meant to have sensitive controls or power-ups, but putting a shine on an old game idea doesn't hurt either.

Take a bow, dammit.

Score: 5

"Basically Sound"

submission: Shoot a Tank

date: May 9, 2008

Before I make suggestions, I just want you to know I like this. It's simple and loads quickly, and those count a lot in my book.

Baron Heron made a lot of good points in his review below; I agree with all of them accept the idea for land mines (because the tank would have no way to dodge them). Simply put, you couldn't go wrong with more options and better graphics. I also like the Baron's idea for a backstory. Why IS this tank going so fast, anyway?

Score: 0

"If you try to give a man seizures all bets are off"

submission: E-F-R-P-F-B-F

date: April 29, 2008

Okay. I don't mind that this game seems to have no purpose, because that didn't stop me from playing it and I just accepted the What the Hell factor as being the cost of admission.

The fact that none of the controls seem to work is annoying, but if it had ended there I would have walked away and played something else. But if you're going to strobe the screen as fast as the viewer's equipment will allow, at least have the decency to warn players ahead of time.

Score: 8

"Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood"

submission: SeaScape

date: April 28, 2008

This is actually a wacky little game. I love the stuff I get to collect - my favorites are the skulls. As the in-game narration suggests, "I'm sure somebody will be interested in this," and I couldn't agree more. I sort of imagine my character returning at the end of a long day, ambling into a watering hole, setting a skull down on the bar, and saying, "How many beers will this get me?"

I only noticed one bug: when I looked from side to side, the fish would stay fixed in my line of sight. If I was looking to the right, and a fish had entered my line of sight swimming to the left, it would appear to swim backwards.

I beat the game in about half an hour, so it was just the right length too. Well done, I say, and if you'll excuse me I have some skulls to cash in...

Score: 6

"Okay"

submission: Alien TowerDefence Beta.2

date: April 28, 2008

A few tips (I overlap with other reviewers on some of these):

-Make it so you have to re-press the space bar to place additional barriers. I would press it once and they would all be placed on top of each other (although I did get the hang of it eventually).
-There's a sometimes-glitch that, when you press the do-again button after winning, sometimes the cannon will just shoot at it instead of the game starting over.
-When I finally did get the barrier thing down, I discovered that the aliens tended to get stuck behind them and didn't really put up much of a challenge after that.
-The graphics were kind of odd. Little things - like being able to see the shell appear inside the cannon before it travels down the barrel - were sort of weird.
-Another glitch: for some odd reason, the data screen that pops up after winning is called level two, instead of being part of level one.
-Power-ups would be cool. Like different kinds of ammo, mines, more barriers; the works.
-Though not crucial, a story would be nice. There's no rule that says shooters have to have a story behind them, but it lends a sense of initiative - "Why We Fight."

Anyway, I think you're on to something. Since you went to the trouble of re-coding this whole thing, I figure you're really dedicated to this thing. Best of luck to you!

Score: 10

"Right on!"

submission: Bubble Reaction

date: April 27, 2008

I love this! I love the bizarre gong sound effect! I love how it says you have to "kill" the bubbles, making me feel like a bubble assassin! I love how I got a bubble reaction that played shave-and-a-haircut! This is the best bubble-themed game ever!

DEATH TO THE BUBBLES! Yeeeeeeee-ha!

Score: 7

"I'm liking this for the sheer pointlessness"

submission: Filling Your Zippo

date: April 27, 2008

Too many videos at Newgrounds focus on randomness, while the ancient art of pointlessness has languished. I loved this film because it had a clear purpose of no consequence whatsoever.

Consider making a parallel parking simulator for your next project.

Score: 8

"Tip"

submission: jack nicholson soundboard

date: April 27, 2008

If you right click the Flash player and hit "Zoom In," everything becomes legible.

Score: 10

""Is Paul here?""

submission: Twin Hobo Rocket

date: April 25, 2008

The premise of this game was hilarious, although it went on for too long (I played for half an hour and then finally started ramming asteroids). The hobo dialog was fantastic ("Is Paul here?"), although it started getting repetitious after ten minutes or so. Maybe you should up the asteroid damage so that an average player won't last longer than ten minutes or so, which would solve both problems.

Here's some dialog ideas, if you want them:

"I love this song."

"I used to work for NASA."

"Can you believe I built this thing out of a water heater?"

[While getting money]
"Cool, a state quarter!"

[After the rocket gets wrecked]
"Knew I should have double-wrapped the duct tape"

"I can see my former house from here."

The scuttlebutt is that the rocket is supposed to look like a penis, but honestly, I just don't see it. What's the point of making a rocket with two hobos attached to it look phallic? I'd only buy into that idea if there was some reason for it.

One last thing: I don't know where you guys came up with that piece of music, but it is just perfect for this game. It sounds like the sort of thing that would be playing on a radio listened to by space hobos.

Oh, and I see the rating's been stepped down to Teen. Good call.