Score: 9

"A perfect storm of insanity and bureaucracy"

submission: Office Chimp

date: April 16, 2008

I have no idea how much time it took you to make this, but it shows. this has more nuance than any other NG game I've played (except for The Impossible Quiz), and the gloriously illogical premise of an office building staffed by anime characters actually gets better, not lamer, as time goes by.

Also, the weird little things like the cocaine dealer and the basement add the icing on the cake.

Score: 9

"Shows promise"

submission: Fizzle: The Game

date: April 15, 2008

Stylistically, I would rebuild this game from the ground up (except the square duck... I love that for some reason), but conceptually you're really on to something.

A story would be cool. Since this is apparently an incandescent lightbulb, he/she could be fleeing away from the energy-efficient hords to the Island of Misfit Appliances, to live in peace with 8-Track tapes and electric knives.

You're welcome to that plot outline if you want. If you don't I can hardly blame you.

Anyway, a few more detailed pointers:

- I recommend a few power-ups (like immunity, health, etc.)
- Basically redrawing everything with more powerful image program.
- More video game-esque music.
- Have fun!

Best of luck,
Captain Video

Score: 7

"Just figured somebody ought to defend this"

submission: social studies hw j&m

date: April 14, 2008

This isn't a "fun" game, true, but if I were actually trying to learn about the subject covered I believe it would be a useful study aid.

I recommend music and power-ups.

Score: 6

"What mad universe?"

submission: Sprintster

date: April 13, 2008

Well, I liked the idea of running from toxic food using only my wits and snake (whose inexplicable presence and even more inexplicable consent to use as grappling hook). However, the game was more than a little unforgiving, and I get the sinking feeling I'll never be good at it.

Score: 8

"Fine, interactive product placement"

submission: Fanta Dash

date: April 12, 2008

Although I was impressed by this game, I was sort of bummed that it had no clear "end" (and after all that hard work you put into the promo!) Also, a high score meter would be nice. Incidentally, I got 258,839. The units of measure aren't specified, but the people in the cartoon (except the "evil" guy) all had accents like the Canadians in "South Park." Assuming this takes place on a planet populated by Canadians (and thus using the metric system), I traveled 259 kilometers, or about 144 miles.

Score: 8

"Morbid"

submission: Death by Hinge

date: April 8, 2008

I don't think you actually intended for it to come together this way - though maybe you did - but this is probably the most nihilistic video game I've ever played, so dark that it actually passes through the other side and becomes funny.

The beauty lies in the simplicity: it's a metal hinge, which is used to spank some death-bound soul as far as possible. That's it. There is no backstory, which would impart a sense of higher purpose to the spanking. There is no high score table, which would at least grant the stick man a place of status in the records of the dead. It's just you, and him, and the anonymous overlord who passes judgment on your capacity as executioner.

Blended with the snowy, lifeless background and the kickball sound effect used to enhance man-to-surface contact, this breathes life into the diorama - only to snatch it away again at the snap of a hinge. Brilliant.

Score: 8

"Negative numbers never made me feel so positive!"

submission: Shadow Factory

date: April 3, 2008

Actually, it does work. If you just keep clicking "repair", it will keep repairing, even if there is no more work to be done. It will keep deducting money from you until you hit zero - but if you keep clicking after that, the money starts going back up again. I think this is because the game has no concept of negative numbers - which fits in nicely with the whole "nuclear meltdown" plot. Who's going to doublecheck finances at Chernobyl?

Furthermore, any FUTURE expenditures are not deducted from your funds, they are added to them! (Again, negative numbers.) So, if you'll excuse me, I have a nuclear plant to investigate...

Score: 6

"Not bad"

submission: Bomb-A-Bomb

date: April 3, 2008

I like the basic premise of this game, because people who don't like explosions are few and far between. Your bomb designs (particularly the one for the grey bomb) are also perfect. Anything that pumps its eyebrows as it walks can't be trusted to live.

Still, there were a few things that threw me (I got to level 30). The first are the bomb types you're not supposed to kill, which tended to hamper me in ways that were more frustrating than challenging. I appreciate the concept of mercy, I just don't think it necessarily has to apply to walking bombs.

The second problem I had was with the timer, which was also a bit tricky. I don't have anything bad to say about the various methods used to explode bombs (the timer, the candle, etc.) but the levels seem to rotate through them at random (I can't swear there wasn't a pattern, I just didn't catch it).

The third problem is more philosophical, and deals with level 20 - "A Little Luck." In all games, of course, luck is a factor - luck is the bread and butter of gambling; luck is what makes gaming gaming. But I think "Bomb-A-Bomb" relies a little too heavily on luck in places - I believe that luck should be an ancillary factor, not a key one.

All said, however, I found this to be a satisfyingly explosive game.

Score: 10

"Damn Fine Game!"

submission: Damn Birds

date: April 1, 2008

I didn't actually beat the game - I don't know if it's beatable - but I did get all the weapons and got to battle all kinds of crazy birds, including a massive buzzard I must assume was a roc.

The backstory is delightful, because if I was a statue in the park, this is definitely something I'd do. Never explained is how the statue makes money from killing park birds, but I assume he's selling them to some kind of seedy restaurant that's paying him under the table.

This game did have flaws, but they didn't actually stop me from having fun - although it was a bummer that it took a whole week to build up the skills to really suppress the birds enough to buy the machine gun.

I would highly recommend a sequel, perhaps with a name like "Damn Birds 2: Taking Back the Park," featuring better defense points (as other reviewers have suggested) and maybe different gun attachments - like a bigger gun clip for the SKG, or an umbrella that you can clip to the gun to help shield yourself from the onslaught of poo. And if THAT game is a hit, you could make yet another one - "Damn Birds 3: Strafe the Skies," where you have, I don't know, lasers or something. The possibilities are infinite!

At any rate, I salute you for this masterpiece of derangement, and you're more than welcome to either of those sequel names if you want them. Rock on!